...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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