I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
