Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
