apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
