Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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