On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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