I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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