An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
