There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
