I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
