I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
