ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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