I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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