i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
