I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
