it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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