I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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