got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
