Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
