I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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