Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
