I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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