So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
