So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
