Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
