Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
