this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
