i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
