Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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