Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
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