It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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