He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
