he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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