i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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