now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
