I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize
