worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
