i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
you mean i was at the winter classic?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Sorry about my life...
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
