i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
