he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
