I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
