Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
