if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
