So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
