The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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