The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Randomize
