did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Randomize
