marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I am midnight drunk by noon
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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