Where did you get a picture of my penis
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
