i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
