I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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